Am I to Blame? (02:08)

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When Tyson Murray was deployed to Afghanistan, his team discovered a suspicious item. Two of his men went to inspect it— the device detonated and killed both instantly. Murray grapples with his guilt.

Struggling with PTSD (02:39)

When Murray returned to Australia, symptoms of PTSD started to manifest. His mother, Bev, describes how Murray became less patient and unhappy. Murray would drink and cry for hours.

Holding It In (02:14)

Murray's ex-girlfriend Kate describes how volatile his emotions became. Murray explains that when sober, he was numb, but after drinking he became an "emotional hand grenade". The couple ended their relationship.

PTSD Manifests Anywhere (02:40)

Murray experiences anxiety and paranoia in public settings. It enrages him that he was lied to when he confronted the farmer about the device in Afghanistan. He describes how his fellow soldiers have become family.

Not Knowing What the Future Holds (02:07)

Mates 4 Mates creates adventure challenges to empower veterans and lessen PTSD symptoms. Murray and other ex-military will be kayaking 50 kilometers a day from Sidney to Brisbane— most have never kayaked.

Day Before the Challenge (02:11)

Murray and his team are interviewed by a local news team. Murray explains that he is not broken, just needs some more time and help to re-enter society. The next day, Murray prepares to launch his kayak.

Adventure Begins (02:05)

Murray describes how useless he felt after experiencing PTSD. The team leaves Sidney Harbor. Murray hopes this experience helps to heal him.

Description of PTSD (02:00)

Some days Murray feels driven and purposeful, while other days he feels worthless and falls apart. He explains how exhausting it is to battle these emotions daily. While on the race, he does not have time to confront his emotions.

Hoping for Good Weather (02:11)

Murray plans his kayak launch from the cove. Murray is happy his mother came along to help. The adrenaline created from the race helps keep his PTSD at bay.

Murray's Kayak Overturns (03:30)

Murray signals that he is fine to his mother. After completing his 50 kilometers for the day, the media is waiting to interview him. He hopes that by explaining his disorder, more veterans will feel empowered to seek help.

Last Day of Kayaking (03:10)

Murray feels he is not alone and learned better coping skills for his PTSD. The team arrives in Brisbane Harbor. He explains how PTSD becomes more destructive the longer it is suppressed.

Credits: PTSD at Sea— Against the Odds (00:41)

Credits: PTSD at Sea— Against the Odds